


A Very RaW Christmas

by TaoAndThen



Series: Roots and Wings: The Extra Goodies Collection [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Party, Samantha and Aurelie Take on Mama Bears, Self-Insert, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 09:48:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaoAndThen/pseuds/TaoAndThen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having spent Christmas home alone author TaoAndThen turns back the clock and jumps into Fanfic Land, dragging her AO3 bff with her, to relive the holiday season inside her own fanfic universe.  What could POSSIBLY go wrong?<br/>...<br/>Read and find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very RaW Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurelie (NowImJustSomebodyThat)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowImJustSomebodyThat/gifts).



“You know you might be in big trouble right?  We’re kind of behind enemy lines here.” 

“What are you talking about?  It’s Stark Tower.”

“Exactly.” 

“Then who’s the enemy?” 

“Mama Bear One and Mama Bear Two.” 

“Oh…I hadn’t thought of that.  Well I did get Tony authentic Wisconsin beer.  Maybe that’ll help win him over?” 

“Speaking of the Mama Bears, how old is Dani anyway?” 

A small white puff rolled from Samantha’s lips as she exhaled with a shrug.  “I dunno, honestly.  I haven’t finished _A Tree to Nurture_ so she could be anywhere from sixteen to twenty-four.”  She breathed into her hands and rubbed them together for warmth. 

“Does that mean the Danoki ship might not have sailed yet?!” Aurelie shrieked, eyes wide in panic as she grabbed the shorter woman’s arm and began to shake it.  Not sure whether to laugh at her hysterics or smack her she exclaimed, “Of course it has!  I’m the author.  I made sure _that_ ship sailed before we set sail for Fanfic Land.  I just didn’t…get as detailed as I probably should’ve and OH WHAT THE HELL WHY IS NO ONE OPENING THE DOOR?!” 

“Did you remember to write that someone opens the door and lets us inside?  Because I’m cold.” 

“Ha ha.”  Samantha stuck her tongue out before pounding on the door again, tapping her foot impatiently.  “Well there’s an upside to being from Wisconsin and having a Canadian mother.  Ice in my blood.” 

“That gives you and Loki something to bond over while I steal Dani away to fangirl over her.” 

Samantha raised an eyebrow.  “OK, one, that was really funny but I pray and hope and wish and dream and stuff that he didn’t hear you say that.  Second, you know she hates that kind of attention.” 

“Not even one autograph?  As a Christmas present?” she whimpered holding up a gloved finger but her friend shook her head insistently.  “Nope.  Not even one autograph.  Or picture!” she added quickly as Aurelie began to open her mouth. 

“The party hasn’t even started yet and you’re already being a party pooper.” 

“ARE THEY STILL OUT THERE?!” 

Samantha and Aurelie jumped when they heard the sound of a very enraged Tony Stark on the other side of the door.  “I think Mama Bear One woke up,” Aurelie whispered.  Samantha could only nod, lips trembling as they both heard a very familiar series of metallic slapping and snapping sounds.  The front door opened and Iron Man shoved a glossy red and gold hand threateningly into their faces. 

“You have some nerve showing up here!” he barked from inside the suit.  Samantha huffed.  “Other authors have done far worse things to you!  All I did was give you a daughter and gave said daughter a boyfriend!” 

“So you admit to your crime then?” 

“Tony, really?  It’s the holidays.  You should be happy your daughter is happy,” Aurelie tried to reason.  She could feel him glaring at her from behind the face plate. 

“And you, you’re the accomplice to this whole mess!  Captain Aurelie of the Danoki Ship!” 

“I have a title?!  I’m excited and confused.”  She shrank back nervously.

“TONY!  It’s Christmas Freakin’ Eve, I’m the author, this is my fanfic, and you’re letting us in to join the freakin’ Christmas Party!  End of story!” the shorter one shouted. 

“I wish you would end this story.  And it’s _after_ the 24 th, right J.A.R.V.I.S.?” 

“Actually sir it is indeed December 24th, 5:48 PM Eastern Standard Time.” 

“…you’re kidding.”  He lowered his arm.  “But…how?” 

“Author powers.  That’s how.  I made it so before we came here.”  _I wonder how else I can influence this world…while I AM here..._   Samantha waved her fingers in front of Tony’s face like a Jedi.  “These are not the authors you’re looking for.” 

He stiffened up and repeated monotone, “These are not the authors I’m looking for.” 

Aurelie burst out laughing.  “No way!  Make him say something else!” 

She began to brainstorm and then her eyes lit up deviously.  “All your base are belong to us.” 

“‘All my base are belong to you.’  Wait, what did I just say?!" 

“Yes sir, the lease for Stark Tower is under Ms. Samantha’s name, and Ms. Aurelie is the co-signer.” 

“Ooh, um, actually, take me off that lease.  I don’t wanna deal with the electric bills,” Aurelie mumbled. 

“You must construct additional pylons!” Samantha commanded. 

He groaned in annoyance.  “I don’t have time for this.  Fine, come in, be festive and merry and ruin my life a little more.  Just don’t bother me in the lab; I have to go construct additional pylons.”  The suit deconstructed and disappeared with the grumpy inventor.  They waited nervously in the doorway until he was out of sight. 

Aurelie finally broke the silence.  “You should’ve told him to make me a suit.” 

“We have more important things to worry about.  Like Mama Bear Two.”  They both kicked the snow off the boots before stepping inside.  “You know, the one who doesn’t need a suit to break us in half,” Samantha added as she unzipped her jacket and hung it up. 

“Right.  Mama Bear Two.  But Steve’s a reasonable guy and he’s always been pretty supportive of the Danoki ship.  Or at the very least Dani and supporting the decisions she makes.  So we have nothing to worry about,” Aurelie said confidently. 

“Doesn’t mean he supports me creating it…” 

“Then just use those weird author voodoo mind control powers to sway him.”  She wiggled her fingers in Samantha’s face to add emphasis to the word ‘voodoo’. 

“I don’t even know how I did that the first time!  Maybe I can only do it so many times per day?  Maybe Super Soldier Serum makes you immune to it?  This is my first time in Fanfic Land, remember?”  She pulled her passport out of her jacket pocket to show off the lone stamp.  “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea…” 

“Nonsense.  This isn’t just Fanfic Land, this is your fanfic universe.  It’s just like that part in the Avengers when Loki was in Germany but minus the getting your ass kicked part.” 

“Of all the scenes to reference…”

“What’s wrong with that reference?” 

“Steve and Tony were the ones who kicked his ass!” Samantha reminded. 

Aurelie paused.  “Right.  Give me a second.  It’s…just like the part in Thor when Sif and Warriors Three found out Loki was king and they couldn’t do shiz about it.”

Samantha rolled her eyes.  “Yeah, and we all know how well that ended.  I don’t plan on falling from a CGI magical bridge anytime soon.” 

Aurelie threw her arms up in the air out of hopelessness.  “I give up.  You’re so hard to please…” 

“That’s why I write fanfics.”


End file.
